October 19th, 2006
Writing test: What's wrong with this sentence?
The mistake is subtle and not technically a typo, but as my eagle-eye friend and PR expert, Frances Wheeler, says, it conjures up a bizarre image. Do you see it?
“The documents claim [Paul] McCartney used illegal drugs and drank excessively, hurled abuse at [wife Heather] Mills and made her cancel an operation on the leg she lost in a traffic accident before they married because it interfered with his holiday plans.”
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Says Frances, “So how does one operate on a lost leg? For that matter, why was the leg interfering with Paul McCartney’s holiday plans? %20Wink.png)
Original source: McCartney Divorce Mudslinging Stains All Sides (now there’s a headline!).
Thanks, Frances!
October 19th, 2006 at 7:34 pm
You know, Dianna. The biggest problem with this snippet is probably this bit: “made her cancel an operation on the leg she lost in a traffic accident before they married because it interfered with his holiday plans.” That’s 24 words without any punctuation. 24 words is too long for a single phrase. One should try to keep phrases short, so your readers will understand them. For that matter, one should keep phrases short, so the writer can understand them. If this writer had tried to break that monstrosity into tinier pieces, he would have quickly learned that it made no sense.
-TimK
October 19th, 2006 at 8:15 pm
Tim — Yep! I agree!
October 20th, 2006 at 1:37 pm
Dianna – You should not have told us the answer. I did not even see the part about the lost leg! – Mike
October 20th, 2006 at 2:33 pm
I know. But once you see it, doesn’t it make you giggle?
October 26th, 2006 at 9:37 pm
Not to mention this one: “…hurled abuse at [wife Heather] Mills and made her cancel an operation on the leg she lost in a traffic accident before they married because it interfered with his holiday plans.”
“..it interfered..” What interfered? The lost leg? Damn that leg! It’s like a bad penny…it just keeps COMING BACK! lol…
p.s. I am crushed that the Favorite Beatle is a jerk!
October 27th, 2006 at 12:30 pm
Ann, Thanks for stopping by. Your comments made me laugh.
December 31st, 2006 at 6:23 am
[...] Writing Test: What’s Wrong With This Sentence?, from Dianna Huff of Marcom Writer. [...]